I have missed this space and I have missed you! In fact, I have tried to sit down and write a post countless times, because this space and this fellowship is sacred to me. Because “Living with Beauty” is my calling and I love pouring this calling out upon other women. But the words won’t come. I just stare at the screen, and the only words that come are:
“I have nothing left to give.”
Have you ever felt that way? Completely depleted?
There is this particular expression that I have carried through my adult life, that I attribute to my mom, and I have found it to be true again and again:
You can’t pour water from an empty pitcher. (<- tweet this)
For the last year+ in fact, my pitcher is barely staying full. I have about 1 droplet left in my pitcher.
This is only to be expected. I have a toddler. I homeschool two very active boys. I am a wife. I am a business owner. I am a daughter and sister and friend and church member and co-op member and an artist and a designer and a writer and a dream-weaver. My life is FILLED to the messy brim, you could say, and yet… my pitcher is empty. Indeed, I have nothing left to pour out.
And if I am being honest with you (which, why the heck not?)… I would tell you:
I have been blaming my circumstances for my emptiness.
But it is not the truth.
Circumstances are hard. Some circumstances are impossibly hard. But, oh my, I am old enough to know that LIFE itself is hard. If I am going to let hard circumstances empty me… then I am resigned to a lifetime of feeling tapped out. Empty.
Yes, this season I am in is a brief season and a trying season. No, my baby won’t always be in her terrible twos. My boys won’t always be navigating growth spurts and pre-adolescence. I will not always feel defeated and feel invisible. But the next hard-thing WILL come along, that is rest assured.
If I want to live my life with a full pitcher, then I am going to have to learn how to do it in the MIDST of hard things.
So, when I finally admit that things cannot go on with empty-pitcher status, I do the only thing that ever really works:
I return to the Word of God, with FULL admittance that I am not in control and cannot do this alone.
Oh, yes. I have long known ‘to Whom I shall go’ to be filled… and I laugh at myself that, for some thick-headed reason, I need to learn this lesson OVER AND OVER again. Because, I am always delighted that, just like clockwork, when I go to the Word, I am reminded that:
when I feel trapped in a cave, I have a God who specializes in coming into our darkness.
when I feel stuck in a pit with slippery walls, there is always a Hand reaching down for me. I simply have to admit my need and take the hand.
when I am knee deep in the lies that deplete my full Pitcher…..
The pride lie that says, “You should be able to do it all.”
The fear lie that says, “You will never get out of here.”
The comparison lie that says, “Look at everyone else. They have it all figured out.”
there is a way to stop these lies in their tracks: We must cover the lies with Truth.
But here’s the rub. Sometimes we know that Truth sits just across the room, sitting on a shelf, waiting for a minute of our time. And we just cannot seem to get there ourselves. THAT, my friends, is when we NEED EACH OTHER.
We have to reach out in humble hope to dear friends who can point us to the Truth. Reach out to those, with flesh on their bones, who can call out the nasty lies for what they are and speak truth over our lives. And DON’T believe the lie that no one wants to be there for you, no one loves you and you are alone.
Instead, type out the humbling message to your friend:
“I need you to speak Truth into my life. I am spiraling in the empty spaces.”
Don’t sit around with an empty Pitcher, waiting. There is Living Water that is ready to fill it at a moment’s notice.
A very important Post Script:
I highly recommend gathering a very small group of women, those who you know bring out the best in you – in Truth, and making a sincere effort to meet with them on a monthly basis. The goal being: filling each other’s Pitchers with Truth. These girls in my life are my Pitcher Girls. I need them, and I don’t want to do this life without them! #Pitcher Girls
MY GENEROUS SPONSOR:
This blog post is generously sponsored by my YL. I am into natural choices for my family, and this is the main way I avoided toxins during pregnancy, and now our family is hooked. My Young Living essential oils are also my business, and the oils are so well loved that they sponsor my blog!!! Thank you, friends! Enroll by clicking here.
I am SUPER excited about the new Premium Starter Kit. You are going to LOVE it… unless you hate things that smell heavenly and make you smile. #spaliving #livewithbeauty #wellness #MyHouseSmellsLikeASpa
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Amen Darlene. Thank you for this post. Needed to hear it myself. Blessings to you.
Thanks for the post!
You are loved, you are precious, you are a daughter of the King of Kings and Lord of Lords! He has a “good and perfect” plan for your life! You are wonderfully made He is MORE than able to multiply the meager “loaves and fishes” in your life to meet the multitudes needs!
((Hugs)), prayers and lots of love!
Oh, how I have been feeling this way for a long time. I must prayer about getting someone into my own life for speak the truth! Thank you for this.
I understand about feeling overwhelmed (and over-scheduled) but don’t give up the blog….figure out something else to take a break from. Even when things are going well, sometimes it’s just the amount of time it all takes! When that happens to me, I begin to feel like I’m not doing anything well and then I get very irritable! Girl time helps and maybe treating yourself occasionally to a house cleaning service. A clean home is always peaceful and beautiful to me. I believe we can do it ALL – just not ALL at the same time. Hang in there and thanks for the post.
Thank you Darlene for opening your heart! Your words are so true about just taking time out daily to read God’s word and listen to His guidance. Something I know but too often don’t do because I get “busy” with life. Some weeks are better than others for sure. He is shining through you today on this post.❤️ Thank you for the sweet reminder of what truly matters!
Xo
Darlene–so much unfolded and opened in this post. What I am hearing is a need for you to discover and follow your passion. And give yourself permission to stoke the fires of creativity. The best model you can give your children is not a mother who is giving everything away but a mother who makes time for what matters to her, something that she creates because that act is so so important. It may not be the blog as it asks you to give more and devote less time to your creativity. Lotsa online art and writing courses out there (I know of some–if that’s your passion). I’m in a small women’s art group and every 6 weeks we have a nudge word which inspires a project we’re working on, doesn’t have to be big. We’re all into supporting the creative process. I’m in a small women’s writing group, meets every 6 weeks as well. Again, all about supporting the creative process. Find your women and create, whatever that is for you. It is purposeful and feeds the heart.
Darlene,
I like the authenticity of this post. I meant to write before but I am busy with my two girls. There are days I feel the same because is a lot of work to take care of little ones and even more when I try to do to much. I have learn to not compare myself with others. For example a neighbor once told me in a nice way that she used to take her little girl twice a week to the library for story time, and that she never went to preschool or day care, straight to kinder garden. So there I was taking my little one(or even the baby) once or twice to the library, plus extra activities to entertain her. And I was going crazy!!
My neighbor is not me and I’m not her, circumstances are different and people too. I actually stopped going to library weekly and I finally accepted that my little girl needed pre school three days a week. I cryed the first days we dropped her and so does she, but now after a month she loves going there and I get a break and time with my other little one. So, if I am telling you all of this is because maybe there’s something that is too much for you, and it can change. I know you kids being young and adorable is worth enjoying but is there something where somebody can take over a little bit?
Please don’t hate, I really like you. You have inspired me a lot, trust me! I am even working out with 10 minutes dvd with my 4 year old haha!!
Two more things: I got rid of about a hundred things during the 3000 challenge, I know I still have lots to work with.
And I also love your pitcher girls idea!
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