Today continues our “Overcoming Decorating Paralysis” Design Series. Isn’t it amazing how much psych we bring into our decorating decisions {or lack thereof}?

For those of you who are new to Fieldstone Hill Design, this series has been filled with ideas on how we can:

And, like most journeys-worth-traveling, this process never gets old. We have to revisit it, again and again.

One of the posts that really resonated with all of you was my post “Decide you won’t decorate for the Jones’s.” One of my readers had an comment that struck a chord with me, and I wanted to chit chat about it with all of you. So, I asked her if I could share. I wonder if you have had similar thoughts:

“I keep coming back to this post.  I’m totally drawn to what *other* people like, and the more I identify with the person, the more I decorate for him/her.  My favorite bloggers love chevrons, sunbursts, navy blue, and big wide stripes.  I hate all those things.  But last week when I was at a “house clutter” sort of store I found myself drawn to those exact things!

I kept hearing a voice in my head that said, “Everybody likes these.  You’ll be like normal people if you get them.”  I can’t decide what I want because of that voice always saying what I’m SUPPOSED to want.  How do you get that voice to sit down and shut up?” – Gyen

I have three answers for getting that “be normal” voice to sit down and hush up:

1. “Normal” is not only a lie, but it causes us to make BAD choices.

2. The better you know YOURSELF, the less susceptible you will be to other people’s personal style influence.

3. Find a talented designer who decorates the way YOU LOVE, and learn from them.

Let’s chat about these, shall we??

1. “Normal” is not only a lie, but it causes us to make BAD choices.

Normal. I actually have a great friend, who is a spiritual mentor of mine, share recently how she has felt called to go on “alert” when she finds herself striving to be, or comparing herself or her family to, “normal.” I so appreciated her thoughts on this, and now, I too have been dwelling on the thought. I have been noticing how I get myself into trouble in so many ways when that devil-on-my-shoulder says: Be Normal!

You see, what in the world IS normal? I guess it means, “blending in. fitting in. being part of group thinking.” If you were to go by that definition, it becomes obvious that being normal is not always good. But this “Be Normal”-Thing gets us every time.

Now, let’s apply the same notion to “normal home decorating.” Blending in? Fitting in? Be part of the Group? We can be sure that Coco Chanel would not be on board with that. Now, it is true that if you decide on chevron {be normal!!} while everybody likes chevron, then…. your decor will be “in” for a little while {btw. I happen to like chevron, but if you don’t… then don’t start now!}. But, truly:

Our decor being “in” is not the goal. Our decor “reflecting US” is the goal! {<- tweet this}

So put yourself on alert for that pesky voice that cries out, “Be Normal.” It is a lie that leads to mediocrity, complete decorating disasters, or worse: your home looks like it belongs to someone else.

2. The better you know YOURSELF, the less susceptible you will be to other people’s personal style influences.

Knowing your own personal style is a journey {one you can start today, goody gumdrops! This post will help you get started}.  And the better you know your own personal style, the more confident you will become in your choices. Although this takes time… you must invest time into seperating your ‘likes’ from your ‘LOVES!’…. it is worth it. Knowing yourself, and your own personal style, is the fastest way to avoid what Gyen described as:

“I can’t decide what I want because of that voice always saying what I’m SUPPOSED to want.”

As you put in the work to identify your own personal style {have I mentioned, it takes time and work?}, you may slowly find that your very own Signature Style is emerging. Glory be!

3. Find a talented designer who decorates the way YOU LOVE, and learn from them.

It is so helpful to follow the work of several different designers, and to be inspired by a wide variety of talents. But, I also want to encourage you to seek out a few designers {even if it is one} who actually decorate the way you love. Find rooms that make you swoon, and look into the designer and his/her work.

Now, this is not to say that you would make every single design choice that designer would make. That is the beauty of interior design; It is personal. But, if you find a designer or two or three who create rooms that habitually fill you with delight…well, I say, take note! Watch, study and learn! And by all means, ditto!

So, arm yourself:

1. Say No to Normal.

2. Know Thyself.

3. And ditto your faves.

And tell that pesky voice to sit down and keep his opinions to himself.

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